I Can’t Believe That’s A Company Name
Pre-internet brand names generally didn’t stray far from the norm: one unique name (Barbie, Nerf) or a simple adjective-noun play (Frosted Flakes, Foot Locker). Of course, that changed with the internet and the domain name game — or perhaps a lack of simple domain names — which created a flight to creativity. Now, of course, we’re used to strange but effective long company names.
So, looking back and finding out-of-the-ordinary pre-internet names is all the more refreshing. I’m particularly fond of names that likely would have been a brand tagline in someone else’s company. One can only imagine the meetings where somebody spoke up and offered up these concepts. “No, I’m not kidding — let’s seriously call it that!”
Here are six of my favorite long and creative pre-internet brand names:
6. I Can’t Believe It’s Yogurt! 
What is it? Soft-serve yogurt
A literal study of the name reveals: Skepticism, excitement, Ice Cream doppelgangers
But it’s great because: There’s no fear in highlighting your artificiality in the 1980s. Instead of cribbing the “I can’t believe it’s not butter” concept of comparing itself to an incumbent product, ICBIY goes one step further and positions yogurt as its driving factor. It’s sort of like saying “We’re here, we’re yogurt, get used to it!”
Boring alternative name: Almost Ice Cream
5. Play It Again Sports 
What is it? Retail operation buying and selling second-hand sporting equipment
A literal study of the name reveals: A guy named Sports gets repeated requests from the audience
But it’s great because: Magical combination of words “play,” “sports” and “again” convey the actual meaning of the store without including negatives like “used” or “second-hand” in the title.
Boring alternative name: Used Sporting Goods
4. Now That’s What I Call Music! 
What is it? Music compilation series
A literal study of the name reveals: People who appreciate validation that they’re listening to music, “things dads say”
But it’s great because: “Now” is all about what’s current, like a moment in time.
Boring alternative name: Music Annual
3. 1001 Things You Never Knew Existed (The Johnson Smith Company catalog) 
A literal study of the name reveals: The assumption that your customer doesn’t know about an incredibly large number of things, Infinity Plus One oneupsmanship
But it’s great because: It’s a business name that takes advantage of the fact that people don’t know its products and instead uses that as a benefit. “Secret revealed” is a classic copy writing tactic.
Boring alternative name: Weird stuff
2. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! 
A literal study of the name reveals: Disbelief, things you’d say to a knave chef
But it’s great because: The name positions the product as something very close to something everyone already knows (butter), but different. Unlike “I Can’t Believe It’s Yogurt,” this company didn’t have the benefit of using the word margarine in its title—which already had some negative connotations in the marketplace.
Boring alternative name: Butteresque (actually I like that)
1. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? 
A literal study of the name reveals: A woman who was misplaced by someone so long ago that she could literally be anywhere
But it’s great because: Geo-edu-tainment! The name is the mission of the game, which sounds simple but it’s actually hard to squeeze that into a brilliant name. Imagine if Pole Position was called “Go Faster Than Everyone Until You Win the Race.” This was one of the first universally successful “learning in disguise as a game” products.
Boring alternative: Map game
